A Random MST
pokemon attack of mewtwo 2: attack of team rocket
NOTE: The bold italics will be the MSTed fic, and the italics are thoughts/translations/titles of works.
It has been a while since Kristopher Smith last saw Catherine Grayson. Why? Ever since the moment in which he had to commit himself into an asylum for ever reading "The Horribly Bloody Death of Kairi", he wanted to be sane again. Understandable.
What he didn't realize upon the woman's return who knows how many days/weeks later was that she had other stuff to think about, up to and including raising her "adopted" daughter, Christine, an alternate Little Red Riding Hood. The girl, like some storybook heroes/heroines, lost her mother when she was born, and it's for the best not to ask her about her grandmother. Catherine, being who she was, decided to bring Christine up in a happier life for now.
And so it was that Kristopher saw Catherine in Mariner Bay, just before she was about to leave to Arcadia. No, not Kristopher's Arcadia, but rather an Arcadia that is simple, with agriculture, wise folks, and a peaceful aura. Andreus, the demigod son of Victoria and Poseidon, was watching Christine at the time.
"What's up with the bags?" Kristopher asked. "Are you all right?"
Catherine nodded in reply, telling him where she planned to go. Kristopher just listened, a bit exhausted.
"...you don't seem well at all," Catherine noticed. "You should get back to your own world, your own time soon."
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Kristopher admitted, rubbing the back of his head. "I have been gone for so long...I hate to change any future. Though ours is set in stone."
Then the two got a fanfic sign, and they looked.
"So I guess we'll do this one last time," Catherine sighed.
"...it can't be," Kristopher whispered. "After doing the first story, I denied any existence of its sequel. What in the...?"
Kristopher created another screen, and the fanfic was played out. To his horror, it was exactly what it was. Exactly what he dreaded.
pokemon attack of mewtwo 2: attack of team rocket
"Huh?" Catherine asked. Kristopher then brought onto himself about explaining the first story and what happened when he, the alternate Carter, and Shaymin Hat Girl tried to MST it. "I see..."
(ANhello everyone this is sekwel I talked about
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kristopher screamed in horror.
"...'sekwel'? Wha?" Catherine asked.
it is bran new stoy
"Yeah, we can see that, Sherlock."
this is about team rocket not jess an jame though they may appair)
"Jessie and James are a part of Team Rocket!" Kristopher shouted, and he facepalmed.
Sara was boned afferbeating mewthree
"Ew..." the both of them groaned.
"We're not going to go there..." Catherine added, shaking her head.
"i am bored". Jake was there too.
"We can see that," Kristopher assured. "We can see that you're bored."
Suddenly the news on the tv!
"Tons of them!" Catherine announced.
"team racket attacking" said nes ppl.
"Team Racket? Who's that?" Kristopher asked.
"Probably a distant, even-more-unsuccessful cousin team of Team Rocket," Catherine answered.
"And I didn't know that the newspeople are made out of NESs."
"on no" sax sarah and jake and teleportled to where news pople was
"Wait, how can they teleport?" Catherine blurted out.
"The power of the Mary Sue, my friend," Kristopher replied.
but IT WAS TRAP and there team rocket everywhere!
"Oh, gee, how will our Sueish protagonist be able to escape now?"
"sarah we know uu can transfoam now so we hi Jack news to trick!
"'Transfoam'? What in the hell?" Catherine shook her head.
"Hi, Jack!" Kristopher greeted. "You trying to trick the news? Maybe you can trick the--"
"Don't do anything that will be controversial."
We sahll take your dna now and use it to make transform genetic pokemon! ha ha ha"
"Wait, what?!" Kristopher screamed. "Taking someone's DNA? That doesn't make any sense! There's no scientific way to do it! You wouldn't exist if--"
said Team Rocket and use device to steal sarahs dna and sarah not able to trans
"Oh, my God! They did it anyway! Unbelievable, story, un-freaking-believable!"
"No my genetic!" said sarach and her genetic was stole.
"Thanks, Sueish Sarah--oh, sorry, 'Sarach', your input was greatly appreciated," Catherine sarcastically commented.
"ha ha ha" said team rocket and tie them both up and attachk to bomb!
"That plot device is so old, it has holes all over them," Kristopher noted as he facepalmed again.
Then teamrocket leave on racket!
"Bought from the Intergalactic Flying Racket, Inc.," Catherine added.
"no!" saie Sarah and there trapped.
"Are you kidding me? The Sue can't save herself?" Kristopher asked.
But then ash!
"Tons of--screw it, you know what's next," Catherine sighed.
"Ah ketchum hoorat!" said sarah and ass free them.
"...I'm not touching that one."
However, Kristopher nearly tried to keep from laughter from the line, but he straightened up. "Must not jump to conclusions," he told himself.
"Iill help you fight team rocket!" said ash "pikachu said" pikachu.
"Wait, Pikachu can talk?" Catherine questioned. "Huh, I guess Meowth's Poke-to-Human Language is a hot-seller."
"okay" said sarah and then realized team rocket rogot to seal pokemon and sent out punk eeve.
"Punk Eevee, playing all your classic punk favorites from then to now!" Kristopher announced.
"lets beat tem ricket".
"Hi, other cousin of Team Rocket!"
Then there exploxion in the disance! There was fire everyone.
"Must be another monster dying," Catherine guessed. "Then again, it wouldn't be good if the monster fired everyone like Donald Trump."
"it must be team rocket" sayash.
"Gee, who could have guessed?" Kristopher dryly asked.
Jakes gallad turn into conventible (it was special genetic) and speed toard teh conflagration.
"...wait. Not only is it shiny for no reason, but it can transform into vehicles?!"
"Pokemon: more than meets the eye, apparentally," Catherine shrugged.
"Yay," the two of them sarcastically cheered.
(AN: Wow 2 revews alread u guys r awesum thx
"No, I'm pretty sure the reviews are flames. Sorry, please fail again," Kristopher answered.
also i decide to write shorter charpters but more them)
"And I'm pretty sure the chapters are just as long as the others," Catherine added. "If they were shorter, this piece of crap would end a lot quicker, and the better for us."
Sarah jake an ash went to fire and saw team rocket there. "oh now" said sarah. Team rocket had exmplode poke mart and taking pokemin from it that they were selling.
"Pokemarts do not sell Pokemon!" Kristopher shouted.
"we must stop them from steal pokemon!" said jake. "yeah" said ash and Sarah at the same time.
The both of them still facepalmed over the stupidity of Pokemarts selling Pokemon.
Then pikacu started zap everything and everthing was zapped. incluing team rocket. then eeve turn to leafeon and leafd team rocket pokemon.
Kristopher placed his head on Catherine's shoulder and started to sleep, as the battle became dull for him.
Jake sent out pokemon too. They started to beated up team rocket which made them mad and scared.
"One Curb Stomp Battle, coming right up!" Catherine stated. "And really, mad and scared? With the former, we can see that. With the latter, they're the biggest wusses Team Rocket has ever had."
Then they sawed team rocket booss. "i am boss this operation" say bosss
"Operation of what? And we know that you're the boss, stop repeating, damn it!"
and he send out tyrantar but jake punched it in face and it was faint
"...what." Another facepalm, courtesy of Catherine.
"what" say team rocket boss. "i know kung foo" said jake.
Predictably, Catherine went on a rant full of Angrish. Her screams and anger woke Kristopher up.
"Something stupid happened, right?" he asked.
then team rocket boss sent out goblat "my kung foo will not work because it not arms" said jake
"No, I'm pretty sure you can punch it, Jakey boy, don't worry."
and then eevee became jolton and zapped it with pikachu
Catherine placed up a sign that read, "It's Super Effective!"
"oh no" said rocket boss and blasted off.
"The bosses never blast off! They just disappear!" Kristopher shouted.
"horay!" said the pokemon mart store owner who owed the stor they were in. "you saved pokemon!" and give them free stuff.
"Which, presumably, also includes Pokemon as well...how the hell does that work?!"
but then they saw on news that more places were being attack by team rocket "we cant go everywher" said kara. "pikachu" said pikachu.
"Hello, Kara!" Catherine greeted.
"You know, splitting up is an option...normally, it isn't suggested, but with your Sueish things, you can do it," Kristopher suggested. "By the way, I wonder where the hell Paul and Mewtwo are."
"we must find out what team rocket up to! we must find my genetics!" said sarah so they use computer to find.
"...also, why is Sarah not disappearing by now since her DNA was stolen?"
"there is sekrit lag in dessert we must go there at ones!" say jake. "but there are no roads in dessertr we must wlk" say sarah
"Of course there are no roads in desserts," said Catherine. "Yes, there's a Rocky Road, but that doesn't count!"
"i will use staraptor to fly" said ash so they did.
"And, like Lapras, it somehow can carry all on its back and more," Kristopher noted.
Immediately, before the two could escape, they were trapped in a holding spell.
"Oh, lovely," Catherine sarcastically commented.
(AN: wow i foun out tv tropes has page on pokeman attack of mewtwo but why they make fun of it?
At that moment, Rika appeared.
"Why? Simply put, it had to be mocked," she answered, and she disappeared.
"...huh?" Kristopher questioned.
"It's breaking the fourth wall, it happens," Catherine answered. "Or something meta."
oh well im used to make fun by now. but they not even hav lik to sekwel!
"'Lik'? Oh, dear God, shut up," Kristopher groaned.
everyne can please edit that pag id appreciate it and maybe not so many inslut kay. ill not link to it use goggle thats how i find.)
Catherine then looked at that very trope page. "It doesn't have any fucking insults, you moron!" she screamed.
Sapph, another fellow Author Avatar, also showed up. "I found that very fanfic, and I'm surprised, if not glad, that the original story got a MST and a dramatic reading. By the way, it's 'Google', not 'goggle'." He, too, disappered as soon as he showed up.
Sarah Jake an Ash god call from profess Oak
"How the hell did he survive?!" Kristopher screamed in the same rage as Catherine's Angrish.
"Sarah jake an ash there is many team rockets here we need help!" "but we re goin lab" said sarah "but they are going to steal pokemon" said Oik
"...our heroes, ladies and gentlemen," Catherine and Kristopher said in unison.
so they went. they gassed.
Team rocket ws attack oaks lab with luiga.
"How did they--" Kristopher began, but Catherine stopped him.
"its a legendary pokemon" said jake and they all dodge luigi arrowblast.
"Wow, Luigi isn't so useless anymore," Catherine giggled.
"I have idea" sayed jake and use zoroark do made look like other lugia which distract it. "Zorark use dark puls" so i id "lugia cannot dark pulls" said lugia so it physic but not effect
The two grew bored, but they weren't prepared for what's next.
then gary came.
"What?!" the both of them shouted. Kristopher then went on a rant as of why Gary, too, survived.
"elective use thunder" he said and it did. "pikachu use thunder too" said ash. "pikachu" said pikachu and it did too. then lugia was zap!
...eventually, Kristopher grew tired out, and he fell asleep again.
lugia was mad and angry atm zap
"So ATMs zap people, too?" Catherine asked.
"look out" said jake and it arroblas and blew them. they land far away but they were not hurt much. "no we must defeat luiga" said sarah and sent out staraper "star" said starpator and sarah ride on it. then staraptor land on lugia and lugia was mad and try to shake them off but sarah hold on. then starapter use drill peck
Catherine cringed at "staraper", and Kristopher is still asleep.
"who the hell do you think i am!" said sarah
Suddenly, Kamina punched the screen.
"What's with the random reference?!" the bold man shouted. "Seriously, this story has a lot of issues!"
"...what the hell?" Catherine questioned. "How do you people keep showing up?"
Kamina pointed to a portal, and he, too, left. Catherine shook her head, muttering about those "damn Big-Lipped Alligator Moments".
then luigia turn into pidey "it is transfoam pokemon that transform!" said gary.
"Like how this sucky story is one that sucks," Catherine added. Kristopher woke up again.
"of cours!" said sarah and cought it with hands not pokeball becuz it was still traner pokemon.
The both of them, you guessed it, shook their heads.
"we have to take its genetics out" said oak on the phone so gary got science out and did.
"I give up on the epic biology fail," Kristopher groaned. "It's your story, do what you want."
"now it is just pigey" said gary. "no wat you do with my pokemon" said the team rocket that owned the pidgey "it is no transform no more! " said sarah with smile. "you may have one this tim but team rocket have more transform pokemon just you wait soon wel take over world! mu ha ha" said team rocket and was jail.
Kristopher and Catherine were unimpressed with the cliched lines, the cliched laugh, and even how the member was turned into a jail.
"you hav save the day" sid oak "now we will go to lab" said sarah and tey went again and this time hoped to make it.
"...and in the next chapter, I bet they don't," Kristopher guessed.
"Wait, this is the end?" Catherine asked.
Sarah jake an ash were all fly to lab then land "we are at lab" saidn ake.
"And once again, Jakey boy makes another relevant, repeating revelation," Kristopher noted.
they look around. the lab was all of dark and scarry and made them fraid but remember it was team rocket lab and wanted to get team rocket.
"...it's not that scary," Catherine noted.
they tried openin teh door but it was lockeed "the door as locked" said sarah
"Gee, we know that already, do something about it instead of the damn repetition!"
"I have idea" said jake ansend out machamp who kung fued it (jake train it kung fu).
The both of them made their umpteenth facepalm.
"were in" said jake and they all went inside. everyone wen inside and gassed.
"I wonder what's going to happen..." Kristopher casually wondered.
Paul wad in there and beatin up everywhere team rockets (with pokemon).
"Oh, so there's Paul! But how did he appear?"
"hi sarah and jake" said paul but was sad when he was saw ash "oh hi ash" he said with mad. "hi paul" asj said with mad too. ash hatted paul beacause he was mean to pokemon even tho dint anymore and paul hatwd ash because.
"Because...they really realized being friends isn't working out?" Catherine guessed.
They dint have long to mad thogh because all of a suddenly there were team rockets.
"Thousands of--screw it," Kristopher sighed.
"team rockets oh no!" said jake. "well have to stop them" and then everyone sent out pokemon and the pokemon battled and the pokemon fainted sometime and winned other time but eventually sarah jake ash an paul won "we won" said jake "oh no" said the team rockets and fled then another rocket cam "you need to understan that you simply cannot play aroun with certain teams! I will report u to otter rockets!" but no one came and sarah beat him easy.
The two were unimpressed. They were silently hoping for the story to end.
"what are you doin here" said sarah "we are make transform pokemon to rule the worl" said team rocket guy
"Of course!" Kristopher dramatically added.
"ill stop you" said jake and then he found the clon machines they were using to make transform pokemon and exploded them
"If he used kung fu on them, this story has just as much credibility as...honestly, anything that has little to no credibility," Catherine stated.
"wait my genetic were in there!" said sarah but it was too late.
"Nice job breaking it, 'hero'," Kristopher mock-cheered.
"this minor setback!" said rocket "we still have mor genetic and we will rule world!"
"...and what a coincidence! Chances to get the Sue's DNA back!"
but then sarah handcuffed him and axed paul to take him prison.
"Hopefully that's the end..." Catherine prayed.
suddenly there was explode! demon worshipers and furries who were all demon worshipers attacked the base!
"What," the both of them flatly exclaimed.
"How many more of this crap?" Catherine asked.
"A few more sentences," Kristopher answered.
"Damn it! That's a few more sentences too many!"
"Also, gotta love how the writer demeans the furry fandom. Seriously, furries who are demon worshippers? Jokes about them are getting pretty old, not to mention that there are those who don't share the same mocking targets as they."
(thanks for idea kitty24)
"And a 'fan'-submitted idea, how charming," Catherine sighed, and she made a face.
"demon worshippers!" said jake "what" said paul. "we wil sacriface u to dark god!" said the demon worshipers. "oh no" said the team rockets they were goin to sacrifice. "can not sacrifice people to dark dog!" said sarah and point "who will stup us you" said demon worshippser "yes" said paul and he kung fued them into hole to hell and plug it up so that demons couldnt.
The both of them have looks that show that they just don't give a damn. Normally, they would question why a scene such as this would show up so suddenly.
"that was weird" said jake.
"No. It wasn't just weird. It's a damn Big-Lipped Alligator Moment," Catherine assured.
"whatever lets go more team rockets" said sarah and they all did.
(AN: i decide let you all decide where story goes from here!
"The group fails to capture Team Rocket, the bad guys place the blame on the 'good' guys, and the Sueish Group goes to jail. Everyone rejoiced. The End," Kristopher decided.
leave review here and if I like idea i will use it in story!
"Yay, more asinine 'fan'-submitted ideas that will definitely not make a lick of sense, adding to the confusion for this already-confusing story!" Catherine mockingly cheered.
Also thinkin about writing fan fic in another fandom now takin requests)
"I don't think so," Kristopher disagreed. "You had your 'fun' with your Canon Defilement. Your misspellings. Your sheer fail in everything--"
Suddenly, an Other of Mewthree showed up. Catherine and Kristopher could move again, but that was a small consolation.
"What in the hell?" Catherine asked.
"If you hadn't already figured it out by now, given that I was dropping references to other troll fics left and right, consider yourself extremely gullible," Mewthree began.
"That sounds odd..." Kristopher muttered. "By the way, we figured out on the MST that it was, indeed, a troll fic. You idiot!"
"Why am I not surprised?" Catherine groaned.
"I am here to tell you people (you know who you are) that you take fan fiction TOO. FREAKING. SERIOUSLY."
"It's a fucking MST, you crybaby!"
"Plots, characters, everything! Everything has to be taken seriously!"
"I'll admit, the 'persona' I crafted was a complete moron, but idiocy, on its own, is hardly a hanging offense."
"No. You're the idiot who wrote the story, you should have expected to take it like a damn grown-up!"
At that moment, Catherine reached for her gem, but Mewthree spitefully tried to stop her.
"And for what? Wasting 5 minutes of your time if you were masochistic?"
"We, as MSTers, poke fun of the story, you whiny bitch. Seriously, I thought arcadiarika was bad enough!"
"Seconded with the second sentence, Kris. I will never understand that woman."
"I'm so angry with rage over this whole thing that it's hard to think straight."
Kristopher played on the world's smallest violin, and Catherine immediately transformed into her Lunara Knight form.
"My original intention of this fic was to create something that would be considered 'so bad it's good'."
"It! Sucked! The first story? In the beginning, it was genuinely that! But you failed, you whiny bitch!"
"And it all wasn't that funny. Even the cutesy 'Gurren Lagann' reference...screw it, the whole thing reads like something that Seltzer and Friedberg would have written."
"The other goal of the fic was to skewer pokemon badfic cliches."
"Nope. You, sir or madam, sucked at that, too."
"Again. Seltzer. Friedberg. Look them up! You write exactly like them!"
"I have been called 'horrendous bitch', 'retard', and other such charming words."
"Until now, we haven't called you any of those things."
"We will never stoop so low as to call you a 'retard'. That's offensive, as you know. 'Horrendous bitch'? Try 'whiny bitch'. That's what you are!"
"I've been on the internet for close to 7 years as of this writing, but I am still continuously amazed and appalled by how horrible people can be to each other on the internet."
Kristopher and Catherine facepalmed so hard with that statement that their foreheads are red.
"I have no problem with criticism, constructive or otherwise, but the level of discourse has essentially sunk to the level of people calling each other names on the playground."
"It's a MST!" Kristopher screamed, and he started to strangle Mewthree.
"...should we not attack this Author Avatar?" Catherine asked as she tried to pull Kristopher away. Luckily, she was successful.
Naturally, it didn't stop Mewthree from whining.
"Criticize the writing, people, not the person. And quite frankly, fan fiction is a stupid, stupid thing to get worked up over," he said.
"Oh, my God! It's a MST! How hard is that for you to not understand?" Kristopher screamed.
"Sometimes, fanfic signs give out those that deserve mocking, no matter how bad the story is," Catherine added. "We survived worse. Far worse. Those that can't work. I will say that the story is somewhat workable."
"Here I was under the impression that people wrote for fun."
"So do we! Even as bad as arcadiarika is, she also has some fun with it! At the very least! And she even knows it, adding snarky, tongue-in-cheek writing!"
"...are you done yet?"
"It's not like we fanfic writers have any chance of being published. Yes, I said "we". I do have a regular account here, but I'm not giving out my other username for obvious reasons."
"Shut the hell up, you whine-ass! God! We were just having fun, but you...you have crossed the line!"
Silence until Mewthree attacked the duo, but they dodged the Psychic attacks quickly. Kristopher attempted to punch Mewthree in the face, but Catherine pulled him away. Calmly, she took a deep breath and said her piece.
"You, sir, are a sad excuse for a human being," Catherine began. "MSTers, no matter how good they are, by definition, those who poke fun at stories such as yours. We have not, in fact, made fun of you, specifically. The whole deal about words being spelt wrong, the usage of attacks, the derailing of characters...in truth, your fanfic is horrid, failed to do what you wanted to do. You fail. You lose! Good day, sir!"
Mewthree then teleported away, sobbing its head off, whining about how no one understands the story. Kristopher cleared his throat, thanked Catherine for her help, and headed back to his own time. As for Catherine, she enjoyed her time in Arcadia, as do Andreus and Christine.
Life was good. Or was it?