A Random MST: Episode 1
Eevee TF TG
NOTE: This MST/fic is rated M for "Mature." It contains strong languages, disturbing content, really weird transformations, and overall WTF-ery. Even when I'm trying to censor them. Viewer discretion is advised.
SECOND IMPORTANT NOTE: The words in italics are thoughts/translations/titles of works, and the text in bold italics are the MSTed fic.
In the world of 2095 Arcadia, Professor Kristopher Smith had just finished typing up another paper on the Arcadian Legends. Happy with his work, he popped a DVD inside the DVTVCR converter, a machine that lets him watch the VCR and DVD tapes from long ago, and watched Mystery Science Theatre 3000.
Suddenly, a young woman tumbled inside. She was wearing a green hat with pink flowers on the sides, making it halfway look like a Shaymin, and she was very ditzy. The brunette-haired, blue-eyed woman ran to Kristopher, eager to talk to him.
"Hi~!" the woman greeted.
"Who the hell are you?" Kristopher gasped, and he realized what he just said. "Pardon my language."
"Shaymin Hat Girl. Or, at least, that's what the author refers to me as."
"You don't have a real name?"
"I do, but I'm basically the author's avatar without any powers whatsoever~."
That is, until a spiky-haired man wearing a Lightspeed jacket, a red shirt, blue jeans, and the Rescue Morpher appeared. The young man brushed his brown hair and chuckled. He examined the lab with his crystal blue eyes.
"Damien?" Kristopher, always the eccentric, curious professor, questioned. "Is that you?"
"Who the heck is Damien?" the man replied. "I'm--"
"--Carter Grayson, Lightspeed Rescue, Red Ranger. Now I know you!"
"Yes, well...I'm surprised that it took you long to figure it out."
Kristopher eagerly shook hands with the Ranger newcomer, and he looked at Shaymin Hat Girl. "How'd you get him to Arcadia?" he asked.
"The author wrote a time machine plot," Shaymin Hat Girl replied. "Actually, I guess Chad Lee, the Blue Lightspeed Ranger, wants to go back in time, but he decided to use Carter as a guinea pig. Just like always. Mind, this was after Ms. Fairweather-Rawlings created it." A pause. "Carter's also the author's favorite character. Trying to make him all badass and stuff."
"So that explains why she always calls me 'the God of Lightspeed'!" Carter realized. "That author, whoever she is, has serious issues. Why refer to me as a god?"
Kristopher frowned. "It's best not to go into that," he replied.
Suddenly, all three occupants received an e-mail. Kristopher opened it up and gulped.
"What's up?" Shaymin Hat Girl replied.
"We got a fanfic sign," Kristopher whimpered.
"Probably this...arcadiarika's," Carter guessed.
"No, it's not her," Kristopher answered, and he pulled it up. Shaymin Hat Girl and Carter grabbed some extra seats, and all three were teleported to a huge projector.
"So...what's going on?" Shaymin Hat Girl asked, and she chuckled. The men groaned, not believing that this woman could also be a ditz.
"Bring! On! The pain!" Kristopher shouted.
"I'm sure it can't be that bad," Carter assured, remembering the time where he nearly sacrificed himself to save the world.
Eevee TF TG
"Transformation and transgender, eh?" Kristopher queried, stroking his chin.
"A Pokemon one," Shaymin Hat Girl added.
One day, a boy named Phil walked to a park.
"See? What did I tell you?" Carter stated. "A little dull, but..."
Phil walked into the park and felt thirsty, and like he doesn't need any clothes.
"...and it goes all downhill from there."
"Why would he go into the park naked?" Shaymin Hat Girl asked.
"Probably a nudist park," Kristopher guessed.
"Too. Much. Information," Carter emphasized.
Phil walked to the drink stand and bought a drink, which looked like root beer. he saw a pink Eevee walk up and say "you can't stand while you drink that, come with me to the bathroom" the pink Eevee said and started walking towards the womans restroom.
"Department of Redundancy Department at its finest!" Kristopher analyzed.
"No, that title belongs to 'I'll kill you! I'll kill you to death!'" Carter corrected, even using a whiny voice when saying the line.
"...you read Countdown to Final Crisis, didn't you?"
"Hey, I had to spend some time doing something other than waiting around in the Aquabase!"
"Why is there a pink Eevee?" Shaymin Hat Girl queried. "And what's up with the grammatical errors?"
Phil followed the pink Eevee and said "why are you pink? why is everyone pink?". The pink Eevee said "you'll find out soon" and walked into the bathroom, Phil walked in as a pink Eevee walked out bleeding from the--
"EEEEEWWWWWWWW!!" all three moaned.
"What the hell?!" Shaymin Hat Girl shrieked.
"Oh, dear God! Why? I can't unsee!" Carter groaned, trying ever so desperately to get the mental image out of his head.
"Since when do Pokemon have...certain body parts?" Kristopher asked.
"Some people do that in fetish fics. Look at Gardevoir. Better yet, don't. That being said and all, there exists some twisted fanfics that do these kinds of acts. Don't ask why, just look up the So Bad It's Horrible: Fanfics page on TvTropes," Shaymin Hat Girl answered.
Phil flinched and sat on a chair which was covered in pink Eevee fur. Phil didn't mind and took a sip of his drink, not noticing that the brown fluid was turning pink.
"It's magic!" Carter shouted out as he saw the scene with the drink changing colors.
"Try our new flavor-changer energy drink--you'll get a ton of tastes with every gulp!" Kristopher said in a voice similar to a '50s commercial announcer.
"And yet I wonder...a chair with pink Eevee fur," Shaymin Hat Girl examined, but she stopped. "No. Must not go too far."
the Pink Eevee said "my name is Sam. I guess your Phil". Phil nodded and felt something push out of his spine, he checked his spine to find a small bump at the base of it.
"Moar spelling errors!" Shaymin Hat Girl gleefully announced.
"At this point, it seems like we're attacking the author instead of the story," Carter guessed.
"I'm more interested as to why the guy has a bump," Kristopher pondered.
"It's a Pokemon transformation!" Shaymin Hat Girl replied.
Phil jumped up in suprise as Sam said "you don't have to worry, your going to be cute" and walked over to Phil's (Mr. Happy) with a pair of gender change sissors.
All three stared in shock and utter disgust.
"Why can't he get the hell out of here?" Shaymin Hat Girl questioned.
"It's supposed to be erotic," Carter replied. "Like Agony in F*cking Pink."
"Oh, dear Arceus."
"You're telling me."
Phil freaked out a bit and took another sip as Sam put his (Mr. Happy) through the hole in the sissors. Sam said "once I snip your (Mr. Happy) off, you'll become completely a girl like me. well, not like me till you finish your drink off" and pressed on the sissors, Phil's (Mr. Happy) falling to the floor.
All three heroes threw up.
"And he's not bleeding why?!" Carter shrieked. "I've seen some horror films that has it happen, and the victim always dies!"
"How can an Eevee use scissors? Why are the Eevees pink instead of the alternate color? Why can't the idiot throw the damn drink down and get the f*cking hell out of dodge?!?" Kristopher roared.
"The author just didn't care," Shaymin Hat Girl replied, closing her eyes and shaking her head.
"We need to get out of here--fast!" Carter planned, and all three swiftly ran to find the exit. However, there was nothing to be found.
"Ehehe, yeah, I made the theater without exits," Kristopher admitted. "I wanted to watch my favorite movies without leaving the area."
Carter, disgusted, slammed his own head into a wall. He did not join Shaymin Hat Girl and Kristopher as the latter two went back to their seats.
Phil flinched as his (Mr. Happy) disappeared into a female ----, crying that he has a ----.
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP!" Carter screamed as he continued to slam his head into the breaking wall. The fanfic was actually too much for the once-heroic Lightspeed Ranger to bear. Then again, even the bravest of souls can't take any So Bad, They're Horrible fanfics, no matter how hard they tried.
Kristopher walked over to Carter and pulled the man away, comforting the Red Ranger and wrapping his bloodied head with the professor's own lab coat. Kris also pulled out a potion that slowly healed the wounds, and he rubbed it on Carter's gash.
Phil became completely a girl, tail growing a bit longer with pink fur growing on it. Phil gasped "I gotta get out of here" she said, finnishing her drink and running into a mirrored stall. Phil started shaking as her tail finished growing with pink fur and a light pink tail tip.
"At this rate, the guy can't understand the importance to get the heck out of there and never return," Shaymin Hat Girl groaned. "Also, wearing clothes. That's another thing."
"...finnishing a drink?" Kristopher questioned. "What, does Finland have anything to do with this?"
"No," Carter replied, his headache lessening.
"why did I have to walk into this park" she said, shaking as her legs reformed into the hind legs of an Eevee, her hips also reforming.
"That depends," Shaymin Hat Girl replied. "Why did you have to walk into the park naked?"
Phil fell off the toilet and grabbed her Eevee hind legs. Phil screamed as she watched her hands and arms reform into the front legs and paws of an Eevee as pink fur engulfs her body, a light pink tuff of thick fur growing around her neck.
"I hope he doesn't leave a...yeah," Kristopher sighed. "And I do wonder where he fell off. The floor or the..."
"...let's not jump to conclusions," Carter interrupted.
Sam said "your almost done, if you need to pee. sit on the toilet made for Eevees" as Phil went over to the toilet and sat on it, letting her pee come out and down the toilet.
"Did we really need to see a peeing scene?" Shaymin Hat Girl asked.
Phil's head started reforming, gaining Eevee ears covered in pink fur and a small muzzle with sharp fangs. Phil said "looks like my human form.......is gone".
"Thankfully, our sanity is not," Kristopher replied until he looked at the now-recovered Carter. "Well, almost everyone, anyway."
"Oh, thank Arceus!" Shaymin Hat Girl sighed.
"Now we can get out of here!" Carter cheered.
All three teleported back to Kristopher's lab.
Back in the lab, Kristopher and Shaymin Hat Girl watched Street Fighter in order to recover from the pain. As for Carter, he decided to do some Tai Chi so he could achieve his inner calm, being careful not to break anything.
"You think that, perhaps one day, there would be a good Pokemon transformation fanfic?" Kristopher asked.
"Of course!" Shaymin Hat Girl replied, even around the same time M. Bison said his immortal line, and she pulled up some fanfics and fanart to prove it. "In fact, I think these outweigh this piece of crap even moreso."
"That's interesting. I wonder how becoming a Pokemon feels like. Sure, they will have to--have to--be commanded and forced to speak their names over and over, but...well, I still have my mission first: defeat Dark Emperor Miryuko and his throng of demons."
"Sounds like what we once did, only replace 'Dark Emperor Miryuko' with 'Queen Bansheera,'" Carter noted.
Shaymin Hat Girl smiled sneakily. She was still curious about a human turning into a Pokemon. "Kristopher, do you have any Pokemon potions? The ones that turn the user into a--" she asked, but Kristopher showed her 251 potions. "Wait. 251? There are more than 493 Pokemon!"
"Before I became an Arcadian researcher, I was a scientist," Kristopher explained. "One of my plans included making Pokemon transformation potions. All the known kinds, especially the glitch Pokemon...should there ever be a brave soul bold enough to be a gigantic block.
"However, I only had 251 potions completed, including Celebi and Mew. Helping out with Daniel Johnson was my first priority, but I promised to make more potions after we defeat the demons."
"That's great, but who will use a potion?" Carter questioned.
"Since you are the most likely to be used as a guinea pig, you will," Kristopher replied, and he chose a random potion. Carter had an amazed look on his face as the professor had the Red Lightspeed Ranger drink the potion. "How does it feel?" Kristopher asked.
Carter shrugged until he saw a pool of lava forming under his feet. It felt as if his black shoes were melting, but they were. Despite this, it wasn't hot to the touch of his now-bare feet.
"What will I become?" Carter asked.
"You will be a Slugma, one of the Johto Pokemon," Kristopher revealed. "As you will keep very few traits, you will not evolve. Just like the Spiky-Eared Pichu."
Carter smiled until he felt his feet being covered by the magma. It soon covered his legs, permanently binding them and forcing him to ooze his way from now on. He looked at his arms, and they, too, were covered in magma. When it reached his clothes, they burned away.
The Ranger then felt his face burning, but it didn't hurt him. However, the magma that was covering his face also buried his nose and mouth, making him scream--but to no avail. Two stalks formed on top of his head, and he felt his eyes growing slightly larger and heading to the newly-formed stalks. Two magma drips formed on the tip of the mouth.
When it was all over, Carter was permanently morphed--pun slightly intended--into a Slugma. The only things he kept from when he was human were his height--at 6'2'', he was the tallest Slugma thus far--and his blue eyes. While he also kept his voice, he was forced--sometimes--to engage in Pokemon Speak. But it was only when he had to be in a Pokemon battle. Finally, the top of his head resembled his spikes, but he did not have his actual hair.
"I...I did it!" Carter cheered, and he looked at the door after he and the others heard some banging noises. Sam, the pink Eevee from the story, bursted in after who knows how many tries.
"Huh? There's a Pokemon?" Sam asked, and she grew scared when Carter towered over the Eevee.
"Yep. Sam, meet Slugma," Kristopher announced.
"Slug-Slugma!" Carter yelled. Do you wish to attack the Arcadians and the citizens?
"No, I will make them pretty!" Sam answered, and she pulled out the gender changing scissors.
Shaymin Hat Girl and Kristopher recognized the weapon. However, they were ready to battle.
"Carter! Use Lava Plume!" Kristopher ordered.
With one "Slug...ma!" (Hai...kiya!), Carter executed the attack. It was a nice hit, and Sam was halfway damaged.
"I must make them..." Sam moaned, and she recovered. She used the Headbutt attack on Carter, and it was a light hit.
"Carter, use Flamethrower!" Shaymin Hat Girl shouted, and the Slugma fainted Sam with the powerful attack. The two humans celebrated their victory and hugged Carter.
"Slugmaaaaaa..." Carter cooed. Aww...thanks, guys!
Sam groaned as she got up, and she saw that her weapon was melted into liquid. It was no longer usable. Sam shrieked in both fury and fear as she fled, never to return.
"Wow, we actually did it," Kristopher gasped. "But I wonder who sent the fic?"
"She probably did it," Carter answered, and he slowly moved so that his body couldn't freeze up. "Heh...I might get the hang of this."
"Well, Carter, you might not go back to the Aquabase. How about if--"
Chad Lee suddenly appeared via the time machine. As it disappeared, he grew excited when he saw Carter as Slugma.
"You have a huge Pokemon!" Chad said with glee in his voice, not knowing that it was his leader. "Want to battle?"
"I'll give you some rentals, Mr. Lee," Kristopher suggested.
"Slug...Slugma?" Carter asked. Chad, is that you?
Chad stared oddly at the Slugma, then at Shaymin Hat Girl. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that this Pokemon sounds a lot like Carter," he said.
"That's because he is Carter," Shaymin Hat Girl replied, and she laughed. Chad was in disbelief, but he got over it when Kristopher handed the Ranger three rental Pokemon.
And so, Carter lived his life as a Slugma. Despite everything that happened, the world was at peace. Until one day when, because Slugma presumably ate gravel, Carter swallowed a world, probably because (as the others said) he was a badass.